It's done

I'm finally living "alone". A few days ago I took that nice letter I typed up for Roger awhile back ... the one talking about "soon the legal separation will be final, you are now a visitor, you have to leave by 10 p.m. and I will be enforcing this" ... you know the one? The one I thought would solve the problems and I wouldn't have to be the bad guy ... the one I thought he'd "honor" and do what he should? You know that didn't work. First of all, I should have known better ... imagine saying "it's ten pm ... you have to leave" when you don't have anywhere you want to go.

The man has "friends" ... I know of 2 who would put him up ... and that's the 2 Jessie's. Given the choice between them, I'd go with the older one.

Well, he's been sick so I let him stay over. Then the Memorial Day weekend came and of course no one is around. Finally I had 2 days off and his sweet tooth was acting up. I ran out of sugar (and I don't know how that happened since there's supposed to be no one here when I'm not) so I pulled out the remaining brown sugar for coffee/koolaid knowing that would last til I do food shopping but he went throught that in one day for crying out loud! Also, when I went to make the p'nut butter cookies for Sharisse to send her, he got into my jar of p'nut butter I had stashed in my bedroom and I had to use less than what the recipe called for. He offered to go get me some but I said no. Sheesh!!!

So, as I said, I pulled out that letter and circled some parts and added more. I guess I was mad when I did it as I reread it a few days later and thought "boy, that sounds mean". I know he read it as that night when I came home from work he called and asked me to put his bag and the things on the washer outside on the porch and I know that bag wasn't in the front room when I went to work that day. He hasn't said anything about the letter but he hadn't been to my house in about 3 days so I know he read it. When he came by yesterday he was with Jessie and picked up a bag and left again. He hasn't said where he's at or what's happening.

So, now he's gone and I can buy chicken breasts at the market without the fear of them being gone when I want one.

Jason's almost got his own place ... actually he's trying to rent a room in a family's house for $300. He'll find out today if they'll let the deposit be paid in a couple of weeks as I only have the $300 for him since he said he didn't think there was a deposit at all but it's only a little more than the $300 so I might be able to do that next payday or the following if I can't swing it on the 22nd.

Well, gotta run.

Talk to you later.

Love as always,
Mom

Another month gone by!

Oh Tasha ... time is flying by. September will be here very soon. I can't wait.

And Max will be gone on year on the 10th! I do miss him so much. I try not to take it personally as cats will do what they will do but it's still hard. Tux came home ... why didn't he? I bet Tux got him lost on purpose so he'd be the only cat in the household! LOL

This legal separation thing sucks! Sometimes I just wish I had gone with the divorce but it probably wouldn't have made any difference ... Roger has no place to go (he won't ask friends as he doesn't want their pity) so he's here most of the time. Other than my not buying any food for him, not doing his laundry, or anything happening in the bedroom, not much has changed. I'm looking forward to moving into a one bedroom either across the street (which would be nice as they only have a front door and he won't be able to break and enter) or stay withing housing. That way alot of stuff can be gotten rid of.

Well, guess that's about all. I know you're having fun up there and are welcoming all the newcomers to the Bridge.

Love,
Mom

You already knew, didn't you???

Sharisse has been trying to call but couldn't get through so she put it on myspace. It's official ... going to be a boy! And it's "Nicholas Andrell Cook". Her Dad would have been so proud and happy. I can't wait to get up there in September!!! Alleged 3rd grandchild but first grandson!!! Watch out for her, Tasha! She needs all the help she can get.

Love you, baby!!!

Mom

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BABY

OMG ... totally forgot to wish you a Happy Birthday on the 15th!!! It's on my phone so I did not forget but you are now 16 years old!!!!! Oh, Tasha ... I still remember when we first got you!!!!!

Is your Daddy up there with you????????????

I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom

April's almost over

Time is going by so fast!!! I didn't post anything for April ... guess I talk to you enough in real life!

Sharisse is going to find out 5/11 what she's having. I think it will be either Nicholas Andrell or Isabella Nicole. Trying to get Nicole instead of Marie to honor Nikki who's done so much for her and will be there with her at the time of birth if I can't get there in time. Also, Nicholas will honor her also as Nikki is a nickname for both.

Went and paid the $300 for the default papers for the court and took them to Merced Friday. He'll get a copy of the default at him Mom's house. The papers have been filed with the judge so in less than 2 weeks (hopefully depending) I will have the finalized signed paper stating we are legally separated.

Right now we're (oh, excuse me ... it's "I'm" now and not "we're) getting ready for the inspection this Monday or Tuesday. Roger cleaned out the back room and my trash can is overflowing! LOL

Gotta run and finish up some last minute things as I'm working night tomorrow and morning Tuesday and don't want to be doing any more cleaning then.

Love as always and missing you sooooooo much!

Mom

Heading for April!

OMG ... I can't believe it, Tasha. Almost April already!!! I know time means nothing to you furbabies at the Bridge ... you're enjoying yourselves and that's the way it should be.

Looks like Sharisse will find out next month whether it's a boy/girl. She's going for Nicholas or Bella but that's always subject to change. I'm still planning on going up there in September ... she's looking at 9/13 as a delivery date but babies come when babies come.

Found out yesterday that another set of papers have to be filed with the court for the LS. There goes another chunk of money but since the refund was a "gift" so to speak ... can't complain too much. Allah knows what the future holds and takes care of us all.

Have a coffee "date" online with Sharisse at 10 ... she got the mug and loves it as I knew she would.

You have fun and take care of all the newbies who are crossing over the Bridge.

Love,
Mom

February already?

Can you believe it, Tasha??? Next month will be 2 years since you've been gone!!! Everytime I take the trash out at night at work I look up at that star and know you're watching over me. Seens like it was only yesterday that I sent Ginny the money for your residency upkeep and now I'm getting ready to do it again! Time sure flies ... sad though.

Sharisse is coming along ... Dwayne's back in CA ... they came and got him. I don't think she'll be back though as there's an arrest warrant out for her from Salinas. Oh well. I'm trying to save up money cuz I want to go up there in September when she's getting ready to have the baby. I just have to be there.

Love you always.

Mom

Sharisse is set ...

Just called me and she says she's 6 weeks pregnant. Guess God took it all out of everyone's hands, didn't He? LOL

Now she'll get cash aid from welfare and more once the baby is born. Don't know how Dwayne will react to this. Told her she doesn't have to tell him right away ... California's supposed to have til 2/7 to come get him. Not sure what's going to happen if they don't ... guess he'll be staying in WA. Joey's the father and his family is thrilled!!! I'm glad that his Mom is there ... Sharisse was using her phone to call me. Not sure how I feel about it. Told her I was withholding my total enthusiam til baby was born ... probably should have been more excited but I wasn't ... not sure why though. Will have to think on that for awhile. Maybe cuz she's so far away? Guess that's where my vacation money at work will be going next year (supposed be due 9/23 but that will change) as I do want to be with her when she delivers. Now the thought keeps replaying in my mind when I told her that I knew I would not die until she had her first child ... I would be there at the birth. Probably shouldn't have said that as now I'm thinking she might feel that once she has this one, I will be called home. Maybe she won't remember? At the back of my mind, I'm thinking the same thing.

Talk to you later.
Mom

Nothing left for anyone/anything

It seems to be all gone, Tasha. I still love you, Baby but I find I seem empty inside. Catherine has said that I'm in mourning, depressed, etc. over the separation and I guess she's right.

Sharisse is wanting $300 so she can have a camper which she may get through an agency with their voucher into an RV place. I don't have that! I wrote and told her if I needed to send her this, I would have to let bills go and double up on them next month and I won't be sending it to her ... I said I would send it to the RV place. I wonder if this is the same place that she talked about going into as a renter and asked for money and when I said I would send it to the place itself, she tells me she made a mistake and they only have homes for sale and not rentals.

I sent her off the letter and will wait to hear from her. Meanwhile I will go on with my daily routines.

The locks are being changed tomorrow. Roger's been here sleeping in the 2nd bedroom and we're not really talking. I just have nothing to say/give anymore.

Joined a Yahoo group for dealing with divorce ... most stories include spousal support and children so I am kind of a different case.

Gotta get ready for work. Talk you later.

Love you always,
Mom

As you know ...

Roger got served with the legal separation papers yesterday. I guess talking to you has become more or less my new online journal. I still keep the written one ... remember I tried to keep one through my email folders but I guess I deleted the one I was working on as one day it was just gone. That will teach me to send it to my folder instead of keeping it like an email ... you know what I mean.

Even though he knew it was coming my stomach was still doing flip flops when the man was coming to the door and I had to tell Roger he was here.

He has 30 days to respond and then, from what I understood from the paralegal office, the judge will get it and sign off on it and I'll get the final papers in the mail. Then I can take it down to housing and it will be done.

Now if I can just get my damn locks changed. They were supposed to do it last month but Deb said she dropped the ball on that one ... they were supposed to do it yesterday but didn't come. Now I have to call Deb tomorrow and set it up for the next day I have off which isn't til a week from this coming Friday. Arrgghh.

I know there's a reason why it wasn't done ... I just want it done now. I'm tired of waking up and finding him here. But everything in God's time ... not mine.

I'm off to work ... talk to you later, my baby!

Love,
Mom

Almost Done abd a Dream

Jason's home. Got in New Years Day. Nice to have him back again.

Last payday I got a money order for the processor server. He came by and I gave him the paperwork. His Dad showed up this a.m. to serve the papers but Roger's not at home. So I will call Mr. Wyatt to let him know when Roger's here.

Had a dream about Max the other night. Funny ... it's very rare I remember my dreams but I remember this one. Max showed back up ... I think it was at the back door and not the front. I opened the door and there he was scraggly/thin with a hurt front paw. I remember I took him in and fed him up on the kitchen table. I know Tux was here but that's all I remember. Tasha, I have no clue what the dream means. Did you send it to let me know Max is still alive and more or less ok? Is he eventually coming home? I do know I get sad when I think on it. I know ... "well then, Mom stop thinking on it!" LOL

As always, I love you and will forever.

Mom

The first day of a brand new year

Morning Tasha!!! Is this coming year going to be better at the Bridge than last? Maybe it would if the arrivals were alot less? That should be everyone's wish for a new year.

Jason's due home in a few. He's actually supposed to have arrived at 9:15 so he should be home any minute now.

I still don't know what Roger's thinking about this mess. I reread my journal and remembered those bad times in Boston. Made a list of all the things I "do" and sent him an email stating that (among other things) and said "with all I do all you HAD to do was the hours and you couldn't do that! A big part of me has died ... the way I feel now I will not be living with him again.

Let me leave you now as you certainly don't need my anger/upsetness to darken your days at the Bridge. Max is still out there and Tux has a new collar! He's such a sweetie and I thank you for sending him to us. Even though you didn't pick his name like you did with Max, I know you chose him.

Love,
Mom

That time of the year again

Morning, Sweetie!!! It's the holiday season and your Momma's feeling down again ... you know why.

Jason's coming home to stay. Says he's rather be homeless in CA than in CO and, especially in winter, I can see his point. Hopefully I can get him to transfer to a college with dorms so he'll have a place to live.

Sharisse hasn't decided what she's going to do. Dwayne's supposed to be out in Jan but then will be transported back here to serve his time. We'll see how that goes. She's always flip flopping in her plans but she can't do anything til maybe Feb. cuz good ole Mom ain't got no money since it went to Jason. Maybe I can get her to go to a college in WA in a larger state with dorms also.

I still have to finalize the legal separation papers for Housing but that will have to wait til Feb. also.

Only Allah knows what everyone's future is right now.

I know you're enjoying the holidays at Rainbow Bridge. Will Santa be visiting?

Love,
Mom

Happy Thanksgiving

Still missing you, Sweetie!!!

Max is still missing and Tux has turned into a sweetheart (but of course no one can compare to you)!

Your human siblings are doing well. Jason might be down in December on winter break from college and Sharisse has a job and moving into her own place in a week or so.

I know all you guys enjoyed the Thanksgiving festivities at the Bridge. Hope you didn't eat too much!

Love always,

Mom & Dad

Hi

Just wanted to stop by and say "hi" to my most favorite furbaby of all time. I know you're having fun at
Rainbow Bridge. We're missing you as usual, Tasha! It's almost turkey day and wish you were here to sample the turkey. You always enjoyed sharing our meal. LOL

Be good and play nice.

Love always,

Mom & Dad

The Daily Cat Tip

Green and mean: House plants can be poisonous by Tracie Hotchner, author of The Cat Bible

Cats love to dig in the earth in household potted plants - and much to your dismay you may find them using it as a litter box. But a more serious issue is that cats like to nibble on household plants, many of which are toxic to cats. The "Danger List" is so long (it's in "The Cat Bible," if you're curious) - and cats are naturally drawn to greenery - that the only way to be really safe is to make sure that you designate your potted plants as "off limits" to your cats.

New killer of our pets

http://www.truthaboutpetfood.com/articles/480/1/The-Silent-Killer-of-Pets/Page1.html

When God Says No

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, "No. It is not for Me to take away, but for you to give it up."

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, "No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary."

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, "No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned."

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, "No. I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you."

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, "No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me."

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, "No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful."

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy in life.
God said, "No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things."

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said ... "Ahhhh, finally you have the idea."

THIS DAY IS YOURS. DON'T THROW IT AWAY!

May God Bless You!

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world"

"May the Lord bless you and keep you,
May the Lord make His face shine upon you,
and give you Peace ..... forever"

"Good friends are like stars ... You don't always see them but you know they are always there.

To Max ... wherever you might be

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETIE!!!!!!!!





Maxicat ... you are 3 yrs. old today and even though we only had you for about 15 months til you got out (thank you Dwayne ... NOT!), we will always remember your sweet disposition and the way you loved to cuddle.

I will always believe you found your way to another family who loves you as much as we do and is taking care of you. Your big sister, Tasha, already let your Daddy know that you were not with her.
Your brother, Tux, has really come out of his shell since you left and maybe that was God's plan all along.

We will always love you and will never ever forget you.

Love,
Mom & Dad

Never High-Five Your Cat

From Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I Learned from the Cat

BY: By Lynn Maddalena Menna

ats as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by that fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.

~P.G. Wodehouse

When a little black cat decided to become part of our family, there was a certain period of adjustment. Not being pet owners, we were absolutely clueless on the care and keeping of felines. You'll be happy to learn that Toonsie turned out to be an excellent teacher and my husband and I are now very well trained. For those of you contemplating adopting a kitten, I'd like to share with you a few pearls of wisdom that we picked up.

10. Never High-Five Your Cat

There may be moments when you wish to congratulate your cat for a task well done. Try to avoid the traditional high-five--or low-five, for that matter--as they tend to flex their claws on impact, leaving your palm with tiny triangular flags of skin. It's your cat's little way of reminding you who's in charge. Not that you need reminding--that was firmly established in the first five minutes of making her acquaintance.

9. Avoid a Midnight Swim in the Dark

Now of course we know that cats don't swim. Most of them hate water and consider anyone who immerses themselves in liquid to be a total idiot. Still, if your cat is used to watching you take a daytime dip, she'll keep her eye on you, but leave you to enjoy your swim. Not so if you decide to take that dip in the dark. Avoid this at all costs unless you wish to have your cat clinging to your screen like a very loud decorative ornament. You see, you think you're alone in the dark, but your cat can see all the nocturnal creatures out there and will continuously scream a warning at her rather obtuse parents.

8. Napping One Hour Prior to Your Cat's Supper Is a No-No

You know how you stick a toothpick into a baking cake to see if it's done? Well, Toonsie will stick one sharp claw into you to see if you're still alive and able to feed her dinner. She may not be hungry yet, but prefers the peace of mind that food service will run smoothly at the first rumble of her tummy. She will continue this test every ten minutes just to be on the safe side. Not only will you not have slept, but you'll probably have thrown your back out from the landing you took every time she used you as a human pin cushion and you flew into the air.

7. Decorate Your House to Match Your Cat

This may seem like a silly hipster affectation, but trust me, it's not. If the color of your cat matches the color of your rug, sofa, bedspread, any and all comfy spots where she will choose to sleep, it will save endless hours of vacuuming in the long run. Fortunately for us, everything in our house was already black before Toonsie arrived. If down the road we ever get a tabby, for instance, I'd definitely redecorate in beige. It's just easier.

6. Remember that Cats Like to Read

Cats like to keep abreast of current events, so should you open a newspaper, be prepared for your cat to jump on top of it and snuggle in for the long run. Feel free to read around her, but she will not be budged from her sweet spot. Even if you buy your cat her own paper, she will still prefer to read along with you. Just enjoy it.

5. Cats Are Natural Helpers

I can't tell you how many times Toonsie got involved in construction projects around the house. She helped the TV man install a satellite dish on the roof. She assisted the cable guy with wires in the attic. The phone man couldn't have wired the phone in the basement drop ceiling without her. I even watched her follow my husband step for step between the pool filter and skimmer, sticking her nose in to inspect the process right along with him. Of course Toonsie was the most helpful when my husband demolished the bathroom down to the studs in order to remodel it. She never missed an opportunity to get into the floor or ceiling to do an inspection.

4. Never Think You Can Outsmart Your Cat

Like world champion chess players, cats plot their game plan several moves in advance. Whether you are trying to get in or out of the door, climb a stepladder or a flight of stairs, your cat will find a way past you. Just because your cat is sleeping on the other side of the house doesn't mean she is unaware of your actions. Try sitting down for dinner while she's sleeping. Your stealth cat will be sitting between you instantly without the sound of even one paw step. You may not know where she is, but she knows where you are. Get used to it.

3. Keep to a Schedule and NEVER Take a Vacation

There's an urban myth that cats are independent creatures who are aloof and can fend for themselves if left with enough food and fresh water. Not true. To arrive home so much as one hour later than her supper time will result in a very angry cat. She will sit with her back to you and let you know that you are no longer on speaking terms. We needed to take a business trip that would only keep us away one full day. Toonsie was fed breakfast on day one, brunch on day three, and was left big dishes of all her favorite dry foods and canned foods on timers. When we arrived home, not one morsel was touched and she was royally pissed. She stared at us accusingly, stamped her paws when she walked, and refused to come near us. You've never been stung until you've been snubbed by a cat.

2. Always Buy Extra Sushi

Believe me, it's just easier. When placing your sushi order, decide what you can eat and then just order a few extra pieces of sashimi--cats watch their carbs. Toonsie can eat sushi faster than you can cut it into pieces and put it on her plate, and it's probably the only food she will overeat if we don't control her portions. It's a culinary treat that gets to be pretty pricey since she prefers it from a good Japanese restaurant as opposed to the supermarket. Why do we do it? The look in her eyes that tells us, "Raw fish, you two are smarter than I thought," is reward enough for us.

1. Thank Your Lucky Stars Every Day

You've never been loved until you've been loved by a cat. They become an addiction. Toonsie gives us endless hours of entertainment and affection. From waking us for breakfast at sunrise until she gets her goodnight kiss, Toonsie never lets us forget that we're happier people for having her in our lives.