January 23, 2010

Sharisse is set ...

Just called me and she says she's 6 weeks pregnant. Guess God took it all out of everyone's hands, didn't He? LOL

Now she'll get cash aid from welfare and more once the baby is born. Don't know how Dwayne will react to this. Told her she doesn't have to tell him right away ... California's supposed to have til 2/7 to come get him. Not sure what's going to happen if they don't ... guess he'll be staying in WA. Joey's the father and his family is thrilled!!! I'm glad that his Mom is there ... Sharisse was using her phone to call me. Not sure how I feel about it. Told her I was withholding my total enthusiam til baby was born ... probably should have been more excited but I wasn't ... not sure why though. Will have to think on that for awhile. Maybe cuz she's so far away? Guess that's where my vacation money at work will be going next year (supposed be due 9/23 but that will change) as I do want to be with her when she delivers. Now the thought keeps replaying in my mind when I told her that I knew I would not die until she had her first child ... I would be there at the birth. Probably shouldn't have said that as now I'm thinking she might feel that once she has this one, I will be called home. Maybe she won't remember? At the back of my mind, I'm thinking the same thing.

Talk to you later.
Mom

January 18, 2010

Nothing left for anyone/anything

It seems to be all gone, Tasha. I still love you, Baby but I find I seem empty inside. Catherine has said that I'm in mourning, depressed, etc. over the separation and I guess she's right.

Sharisse is wanting $300 so she can have a camper which she may get through an agency with their voucher into an RV place. I don't have that! I wrote and told her if I needed to send her this, I would have to let bills go and double up on them next month and I won't be sending it to her ... I said I would send it to the RV place. I wonder if this is the same place that she talked about going into as a renter and asked for money and when I said I would send it to the place itself, she tells me she made a mistake and they only have homes for sale and not rentals.

I sent her off the letter and will wait to hear from her. Meanwhile I will go on with my daily routines.

The locks are being changed tomorrow. Roger's been here sleeping in the 2nd bedroom and we're not really talking. I just have nothing to say/give anymore.

Joined a Yahoo group for dealing with divorce ... most stories include spousal support and children so I am kind of a different case.

Gotta get ready for work. Talk you later.

Love you always,
Mom

January 12, 2010

As you know ...

Roger got served with the legal separation papers yesterday. I guess talking to you has become more or less my new online journal. I still keep the written one ... remember I tried to keep one through my email folders but I guess I deleted the one I was working on as one day it was just gone. That will teach me to send it to my folder instead of keeping it like an email ... you know what I mean.

Even though he knew it was coming my stomach was still doing flip flops when the man was coming to the door and I had to tell Roger he was here.

He has 30 days to respond and then, from what I understood from the paralegal office, the judge will get it and sign off on it and I'll get the final papers in the mail. Then I can take it down to housing and it will be done.

Now if I can just get my damn locks changed. They were supposed to do it last month but Deb said she dropped the ball on that one ... they were supposed to do it yesterday but didn't come. Now I have to call Deb tomorrow and set it up for the next day I have off which isn't til a week from this coming Friday. Arrgghh.

I know there's a reason why it wasn't done ... I just want it done now. I'm tired of waking up and finding him here. But everything in God's time ... not mine.

I'm off to work ... talk to you later, my baby!

Love,
Mom

January 10, 2010

Almost Done abd a Dream

Jason's home. Got in New Years Day. Nice to have him back again.

Last payday I got a money order for the processor server. He came by and I gave him the paperwork. His Dad showed up this a.m. to serve the papers but Roger's not at home. So I will call Mr. Wyatt to let him know when Roger's here.

Had a dream about Max the other night. Funny ... it's very rare I remember my dreams but I remember this one. Max showed back up ... I think it was at the back door and not the front. I opened the door and there he was scraggly/thin with a hurt front paw. I remember I took him in and fed him up on the kitchen table. I know Tux was here but that's all I remember. Tasha, I have no clue what the dream means. Did you send it to let me know Max is still alive and more or less ok? Is he eventually coming home? I do know I get sad when I think on it. I know ... "well then, Mom stop thinking on it!" LOL

As always, I love you and will forever.

Mom

January 1, 2010

The first day of a brand new year

Morning Tasha!!! Is this coming year going to be better at the Bridge than last? Maybe it would if the arrivals were alot less? That should be everyone's wish for a new year.

Jason's due home in a few. He's actually supposed to have arrived at 9:15 so he should be home any minute now.

I still don't know what Roger's thinking about this mess. I reread my journal and remembered those bad times in Boston. Made a list of all the things I "do" and sent him an email stating that (among other things) and said "with all I do all you HAD to do was the hours and you couldn't do that! A big part of me has died ... the way I feel now I will not be living with him again.

Let me leave you now as you certainly don't need my anger/upsetness to darken your days at the Bridge. Max is still out there and Tux has a new collar! He's such a sweetie and I thank you for sending him to us. Even though you didn't pick his name like you did with Max, I know you chose him.

Love,
Mom