March 16th - Try To Find The Smiles

Sunday ...
Grief is a difficult road for all of us to travel. One thing that we read in the posts over and over again is how many tears flow for a long time after losing a beloved animal friend. People always ask, "When will it get better?" What worries me is that so many of us get stuck in this phase of our grief, and I believe that happens for several different reasons. It seems that people often allow themselves to get stuck there for fear of being disrespectful to the memory of the one who has gone on ahead to the Rainbow Bridge.

Now, believe me - I know that no one does this on purpose, but it does happen. It’s human nature in the beginning. Sometimes people seem to resist finding any joy in life, and they think that if they smile they are somehow not being sufficiently mindful of their losses.

It is up to each of us to see to it that we get better day by day. It won't happen all by itself -- especially if we refuse to smile. While it is true that we need to honor our grief, we do not need to become slaves to it.

If our animals had survived us, I know that not one of us would want them to live lives of misery, never finding happiness again. We would want them to remember all the fun we had together, and to smile at the memories. We would also want them to find happiness with another human until their time came to join us for eternity. They would want those things for us, too.

For everyone whose grief is new: Honor the grief. Allow the tears to come so they can begin to wash away your sorrow. Try each day to remember something funny or silly about your friend, or at least something that will bring a smile to your face. Yes, the tears will flow, but the smiles will shine through.

If at all possible, make a memorial file on your computer, a scrapbook, or a memory box where you can keep all of those glorious memories alive. It really does help a lot. We all have good days and bad days. It’s important to work toward a time when the good days outnumber the bad ones.

Whatever kind of day you are having, we’re all here for each other. We’ll do all we can to lift you up on the bad days, and on the good days, we’ll smile with you.

Squillions of Susie hugs, and prayers for your continued healing. © Susan "Susie Squillions" Lynch