I'm in the bathroom getting ready (dressing, fixing my hair, etc.) and Tasha is laying on her towels in the shower (where she likes to sleep sometimes) as usual. As I finish my hair, I notice her out of the corner of my eye getting up and she sort of twists around and I thought she had caught one of her nails in the towel (note to self: we must clip her nails) but then as I watch her, wondering if I should help, she goes down on her side. I call to my husband "Roger, something's wrong with Tash ... we need to take her to the vet".
He comes in, drops down beside her and starts talking to her and crying and I'm standing there crying also. I thought she was gone but then I see her side rising and falling so I know she's breathing. I had to go ... for my ride to work and for my own salvation I have to leave as my heart continues to break and the tears continue to fall.
I call the house when I get a break at work and Roger said she was a bit confused, disorientated, but basically ok. It finally dawned on me that what she had was a seizure ... I can't get that glassy-eyed look out of my head.
On the way home, I pick up some of the "expensive" food for her and she was so glad to have that! I started researching seizures in cats on the internet and found out that while they're in one, they have no pain and don't realize that anything has happened and thought that she may have more as time goes on and I could probably handle that but she just wasn't herself throughout the evening and I told her Dad that I was calling the vet tomorrow and we would take her in. Think she heard us? Probably. She hated the carrier and probably hated the vet also.
She mewowed some during the evening and we comforted her the best we could. I fell asleep around 11 pm and when I woke the next morning (Saturday) my husband informed me that "she's gone" ... around 1:30 that morning. She had meowed and her Dad went to her. He loved her, hugged her, kissed her and told her how much we love her and then she had the 2nd seizure and never came out of it. When I got up, she was laying on her bed that was outside our door and if it wasn't for the open eyes which saw nothing, she could have been asleep. I went down to her, hugged and kissed her telling her how much I loved her while the tears flowed. I covered her up with a towel as she was soooo cold. Later during the day, we chose her final resting place and her Dad spent all day preparing it for her.
She was so loved ... went suddenly ... no warning ... my husband says "no more pets, it's too hard to lose them".
Every day, the only thing I want to do is to hold her, hug her, kiss her one more time, and never let her go. Losing a pet is one of the hardest thing any of us can ever go through.
If any of you reading this would like to visit my furbaby at her eternal Residency at the Bridge, her link is at the bottom of the page.
My thanks to Susie for her words and poems of such great love and wisdom and my heartfelt thanks to Ginny for creating Rainbow Bridge where all of us know a furbaby is not "just a dog", "just a cat", or "just anything" but a living, breathing soul for whom we grieve and mourn for ... just as we do for any human being.
From Our Furkids at Rainbow Bridge
You brought me to this beautiful place
Where I don’t have to hide my face,
Or turn away as I start to cry,
Or act as if you didn’t die.
This beautiful place called Rainbows Bridge
Where we share stories of our kids.
Where each and every person knows
That in deep sorrow, friendship grows.
We share our laughs, we share our pain,
We come back here in sun and rain.
We start to heal, we learn to grow,
And all because of the love we’ve known.
We learn to live our lives again,
To love, to welcome others in.
To let them come into our hearts,
Our homes, our souls, our deepest parts.
You live forever, your legacy grows
With each fur kid we come to know,
And treasure just as we treasured you
You knew we’d find this to be true.
You had faith in us when we felt lost.
You knew the pain was just the cost
Of loving so well, so deep, so true,
Of loving someone as perfect as you.
Thank you for your deep belief
That I would learn, and find relief
From the suffering I thought would never end,
Thank you, my Bridge Kid, my truest friend.
Susan Lynch © 2 December, 2005,
In memory of King Bing, The God Cat & Buddy Guy
In deepest gratitude to Ginny & Fifi
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